(My dear friend Gil Ramirez passed away in the fall of 2010, after losing his beloved wife Lucy a couple years earlier. I think of them often, especially when I am prayer-walking in or giving someone a tour of our beloved Gardenland/Northgate neighborhood. I wrote this in 2010, and it is appropriate for our call today!)


Gil's Song By Dave Lindner

Gil and Lucy Ramirez loved life! William Wallace from the Braveheart film,
famously said in his Scottish brogue, “Every man dies…not every many truly
lives!” Gil Ramirez lived! He lived life with his eyes, his heart, and his
hands wide open. His life calls us to do the same.


Gil’s eyes were open. He knew what was happening, and he called it like it
is. He and Lucy could sniff out injustice, and they were vocal when they
found it. They were fierce defenders of their beloved neighborhood and the
families of Gardenland/Northgate were their highest priority. They knew
that the world is not the way it is supposed to be, and they were not afraid
to enter into the pain all around them, acknowledge it, and then speak
through the brokenness about the deeper truth of Joy because of God’s
healing work! They both could be really angry at injustice, and right in
the middle of that, their joy shone through! This reminded me of the truth
and beauty of the Psalms, calling us to join the healing work of our King,
who hears our prayers. This is the Psalm I read to Gil last Sunday morning.
He said, “Amen” when I was done. Tuesday evening he was gone. I miss him.


Psalm 4


1 Answer me when I call to you,
O my righteous God.
Give me relief from my distress;
be merciful to me and hear my prayer.

2 How long, O men, will you turn my glory into shame?
How long will you love delusions and seek false gods?
Selah

3 Know that the LORD has set apart the godly for himself;
the LORD will hear when I call to him.

4 In your anger do not sin;
when you are on your beds,
search your hearts and be silent.
Selah

5 Offer right sacrifices
and trust in the LORD.

6 Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD.

7 You have filled my heart with greater joy
than when their grain and new wine abound.

8 I will lie down and sleep in peace,
for you alone, O LORD,
make me dwell in safety.


Gil was the first person I met in Sacramento. He sat down with me when I
was finishing seminary and visiting the “Natomas” area as a possible place
to plant a new church. He excitedly told me about Gardenland/Northgate,
about the history, the diversity, the troubles, and the amazing families.
He said that they were feeling left behind by the powers that be; that the
energy and interest, the parks and the money, were skipping over the older
neighborhoods and going to North Natomas (along with many new churches). He described how the Gardenland/Northgate Neighborhood Association began when people started calling his old neighborhood part of “Natomas” though Gardenland/Northgate had been around for over 50 years already. He was all for unity, but he didn’t want his vintage homeplace to be absorbed and renamed by someone else. Gil told me that he was known as "Beto" as a kid, but that his name had been changed to "Gil" by an Anglo teacher who couldn't pronounce "Gilberto" en Espanol. Gil knew a lot about identity and dignity; He knew who he was and whose he was. He knew that the people in his forgotten neighborhood, indeed all people, have inherent dignity and resourcefulness because they are created in the image of God, not because of their money or education or political power. His favorite Psalm was Psalm 23, and indeed,
he knew that the Lord is his shepherd.


Psalm 23


A psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Lo, though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and mercy will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Gil’s heart was open. God used Gil to call me and my family to
Gardenland/Northgate. Gil welcomed me and my call- he was eager to partner
with anyone who wanted to be a part of the neighborhood, and he was
impatient with “practical” considerations that moved people to “easier”
places. Lucy could be even more direct- “Where?” she asked me pointedly
when I told her I was starting a new church. Even though they were devoted
to their Catholic church, they wanted all the help they could get, even from
the new guy from the midwest. “Who cares about us, here? God does. Do
you?” They asked very clearly. I heard them. And they welcomed me. At
Gil’s funeral yesterday his son Paul shared what many considered the one
word best describing Gil’s heart- “Family”. It was heartbreaking to see the
pain of loss in Gil’s family at the graveside, to see his beloved 2 ½ year
old grandson and great-granddaughter putting flowers on the casket and
wondering how/why they couldn’t see Papi again. But they were also a
reminder of the future in which Gil was always investing, loving all the
families of Gardenland/Northgate. Gil had a way of inviting everyone into
his family, (typically giving Lucy all the credit) and I felt that
invitation. He really cared. When I brought him his favorite soup from the
524 Restaurant, he was very sick and did not have much of an appetite; it
was an effort for him to talk, but one of the few things he said to me was,
“How are Susie and the kids?” Gil’s heart had the aroma of Christ.

Gil’s hands were open. He could be stubborn and he could get really pissed
off and undiplomatic. But when it really came down to it, in the end, he
would work with anyone, and he held everything loosely. Gil was loyal and
focused, but never stingy- he Shared! He had no patience for allowing kids
to suffer because of adults’ territorial in-fighting. “What good is winning
longtime feuds and gaining territory when kids’ lives are at stake?” he
would say to me. “Let’s work together!” His call resounds to us throughout
Gardenland/Northgate and every neighborhood today. What do you say? I say
“Let’s do it for Gil, and even more, for the One who made him!”

Yes, Gil knew who he was, and whose he was! The Bible says that now we see dimly, “as in a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face!” Gil is
with Jesus, and now he sees face to face! Let’s honor Gil by putting our
hope in the Good Shepherd, who laid down his life for his sheep. Let’s open
our eyes, hearts, and hands. Let’s see the brokenness all around us and
care enough to get to work, so that “His Kingdom may come, on earth as it is
in heaven.”

I miss Gil terribly. I didn’t really weep until now as I finish writing
this. God open my eyes, my heart, my hands. God help my life to inspire
others to do the same. How about you, friend? Will you join me?

Go Well,

Dave

Ralph is Dancing at Last

Our dear friend Ralph Grisham died peacefully in his sleep last week.
He was suffering from many ailments related to his spina bifida, but about a month ago he was diagnosed with bladder cancer.
He is now living large, up out of that infernal wheelchair, dancing and laughing with sheer delight with the Lord of all life.

I am sad I did not get to say goodbye to him. I am sad because I am sure I would have said many more things differently in the last weeks of his life had I known time was so short… Ralph had a lot of needs. You could say he was needy. In fact, Ralph could make you think of Bill Murry’s character in the movie “What About Bob”. “Please, please please, I need I need I need, gimme gimme, gimme, please?” Ralph was not usually shy about making his needs known. Maybe you are like me in this- I wonder if we did enough, if I did enough. When I heard the news last night, I did what comes naturally to me- I thought of myself. I cried to God, “I did all I could- the best I could do! How could I have done any more to love him?” The beautiful, bitter sweet truth is that I could have done more…I could have loved him better. Can’t we always? Of course, because our model is Jesus. We are to be like Him, so we will always, always have lots of room for improvement. This is comforting, because Jesus calls us to a high standard, something big to reach for- loving others as he loves us. And we can never reach that, so we have absolutely everything for which to strive and absolutely nothing to regret, both at the same time. And that goes for everything we do and everyone we love. There is so much pain and heartache around, the real shame would be to never see it, feel it, enter into it with each other. It would be easier not to, I think. I hurt more since I came to know and love Ralph. That hurt is a gift from God. Why choose to hurt more?

Because Jesus calls us to take up our cross and follow him, he calls us to enter into others’ pain. Mother Teresa, and those who still follow Jesus as she taught them, spend everything they have, all their resources, talent, energy, on behalf of the poorest of the poor, the sickest of the sick, those who have days, hours or even minutes to live on the streets of Calcutta. Is it worth it? Or is it a waste of time? What if they get to the dying person in time for him to have some significant change of heart? In time for him to whisper confessions? In time to whisper to him, “Jesus loves you”? What if they get there a minute later, after his spirit has gone? Then is all their effort wasted? Of course not. The worth of that love has nothing at all to do with any response from the loved.

So it is with our calling. Everybody hurts, and everybody is dying. In 5 minutes or 50 years… The common moment is right now. Right now. How open are you to love others in the name of Jesus right now? To share their pain right now? What if right now is the only chance you have? What will you say? How will you love? Will you expect/demand a response? What if, while you are formulating your question, the targeted spirit slips away? You missed your moment to love without condition, to touch without reservation, to heal without payment, to give without thanks.

I think about the many moments I had with Ralph. Moments to laugh, moments to give grace, moments to say “I’m sorry”, moments to speak hard truth, moments to quietly care, moments to cajole and encourage, moments of impatience and moments of waiting… I had all of those with Ralph and many more… Yellilng “Bravo” and “Brave” at the SF Opera… Accidentally dumping him out of his wheelchair when I hit a lip in the pavement… Eating lots of things in lots of places with someone who really enjoyed good food…

Ralph was a fighter. I know, because he fought with everyone at one time or another, including me…while I was preaching. Ralph was a true extrovert- he got energy from being with people, and he craved it so much. I am sure sometimes he picked fights just so he could talk to someone. Ralph was profoundly lonely. And yet he could entertain himself… for hours…days. He got to know and be known by a lot of people, a lot of hospital staffs, a lot of churches… He lived courageously with constant pain, emotional, physical and spiritual. In his last painful year, he had been moving away from our church community, and I prayed that he would find what his restless soul was seeking. Well, he has.

He now knows. He knows what it is to be loved unconditionally, the way he always craved to be loved. He knew in part, but now he knows in full, how incredibly beautiful and loved he is. Like all of us, he believed some lies that hurt him. He believed he had to measure up to some religious standard, to earn his way into God’s good graces; he berated himself for not measuring up (don’t we all?) and he prided himself for attaining a partly imagined maturity (don’t we all?). I know that he started to see through some of these lies, and the religiosity that had him in chains was losing its power over him. He felt the love of his friends and he soaked in the gospel of God’s grace, and his mask of religious performance began to slip.

He began to awaken to the truth of the Gospel- that he was broken beyond his ability to fix, and loved beyond all his imagination, and he didn’t need to earn it. He didn’t come easily. He fought against the Gospel. (Don’t we all?) His default mode (and ours) was to compare himself to others and to argue for his rank.

He wanted so desperately to belong. To be valued. He told me he wanted to be co-pastor with me, and he would jump in and share his thoughts in the middle of my sermon, between naps… He made sure his voice was heard during singing, with or without a microphone… He wanted to lead small groups that he had rarely if ever visited… He would shove his oar in and share his strong opinion on anyone’s personal relationships or business whenever he felt like it, but he could also be extremely sensitive and insightful. Sometimes, he just knew things… you know what I mean..

Ralph was gifted. God spoke to him and used him to bless and encourage others. Ralph used his gifts well and not so well. Sometimes he believed the lie that his gifts were what made him valuable, rather than the giver, and so he at times displayed his gifts to get recognition and approval (Don’t we all?).

I know above all that is what Ralph would want for all of his friends and family to know, deep in their souls, that you, all of you, are loved by a God who made you, who knows you inside and out, who cares so much that he died so you could live, really live! Ralph was most alive when he was communing with his savior, Jesus, and praying for others to do that too. Right now Ralph is with his Jesus. Maybe they are playing hopscotch, or cooking. Ralph finally fully belongs.

My prayer is that we can all come to embrace the gospel truth that Ralph now knows perfectly- the only approval we need comes from God, apart from any action of ours, due only to Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf. As we embrace that truth, God looks at us and sees the perfection of Jesus, who lived the life we should have and saved us by dying the death we deserved. So we can add nothing at all to his approval of us. We are perfectly and forever accepted because of Jesus, the one dancing with Ralph at this moment. Someday we will join the dance- won’t that be something?

We're All In The Same Boat

One of the things I am known for saying is, "We are all in the same boat". What I mean by that is that the great love of God extends to all equally- The Gospel of grace shines the light of truth on everyone's sinfulness and need for a savior, (not a life-coach who gives us a hand when needed- Jesus is my co-pilot? No, he's the plane!) And we are all equally and dearly loved, so much that Jesus died for us.

The boat story below has to do with our vision and calling at Bridge of Life. This past year has been full of the stuff of life- that is, joy and pain, difficulty, triumph, loss and struggle. Our Bridge of Life family has experienced loss through moving, misunderstanding, crises, death, miscarriage and mental illness. The loneliness has been palpable as dear friends have slipped away.

When I say we are all in the same boat, it may at times have sounded like we were packed uncomfortably into a smelly old (beige) leaky creaky rowboat with one oar. Ignoring the stench and the leaks, we flounder about in rough seas, attempting to row towards drowning individuals who keep popping up in different directions, sometimes simultaneously, crying for help, hungry and cold; we reach them and drag them into our boat, give them our only warm soup and our last sleeping bag, and as soon as they slurp up the last of the soup they frickin’ jump overboard again, dragging our sleeping bag with them, and they flounder off without a thank you; then we see someone else floundering and go after them, ignoring the new leak we have sprung in our haste to rescue this new victim, wondering why the going is so slow as we begin to sink… Has it seemed like that? Well that's not it!

How about this instead- We are all hands on deck on a beautifully hand-crafted sailboat. The maker of this boat knows us and the waters well, and he has given us a clear destination and a manual with guidelines for how to work the boat. We have deliberately and obediently left the shelter of the bay and we are in uncharted choppy waters; some of our deck hands are green. Others are turning green. The wind is strong and sure, and we have had some trouble catching it. We have tried different sail angles and combinations of rudder tiller mainsail jib and boom. Sometimes we are luffing, sometimes running pell-mell and maybe a bit off course, but we have flirted with that good line, where we are heeled over to just about the right degree and our sails are full. We know where we are called to go and we have instructions for how to work together on the boat. We have to remind each other of the destination and we have discussions about the best way to get there- at times we neglect the manual about how to work together- at times we distrust the boatmaker, thinking we can rig the sails better than how they were designed. When we go back to the book, we see our folly, adjust the jib and the wind fills our sails again.

The boatmaker knows us, the waters, and our course so well. He has instructed us to schedule times of rest and listening on deck. He sings truth to us- he sings the Song softly on the wind, so softly we can only hear him when we stop all our efforts and listen. The more we listen the more we recognize his voice and the more we can hear the Song clearly. We can hear him sing about the brokenness of the world and the wholeness only he offers. His Song leads us to lost souls that he puts in our path; he instructs us to care for them and invite them aboard, so we do. They look familiar, and we remember when we were invited on board, the hunger and cold we still feel at times. So we give them soup and sleeping bags and invite them to join our quest, explaining that the journey itself is an important part of our destination and that we can trust the boat because the boatmaker is trustworthy, and he made everything, including us. Some of them join us joyfully and begin hearing the song, reading the book and learning the ropes; some down the soup, grab what they can and jump overboard. We are often sad to see them go, but we have extra soup and sleeping bags, even if they swim back into our course again later. Sometimes they swim away crying for us to follow, that they need more soup and sleeping bags, and only we can help… It’s tempting, because we like the feeling of helping others, but we know that theirs is not the voice we are following, and we know the Singer is their only hope. So we quiet our hearts, listen to the Song of that still small voice and stay on course, mourning for those lost souls, welcoming their return, but staying on course.

The seas are rough, and the boat is difficult to maintain. It takes a lot out of us- we get sick, and tired, and sickandtired. Sometimes we wonder if the boat is off course, if it is being steered expertly enough by the captain and crew, we wonder about that other boat in those other seas…is it calmer there? Is that sighing the boatmaker’s song, or the wind and waves?

We read in the manual about rest and nutrition for the crew, and we are determined to prioritize the care and feeding of our co-laborers. Our needs are different- some need more food or more training, but we all need each other, and we all need the song and the book. We get discouraged and feel like we need more partners who have read the book, who have heard the Song, who have strong backs and arms and who know our destination and have been called on the quest…. The book tells us how to sing back, tells us even the Song is a dialogue that can change…so let’s sing, together, to the boatmaker, the wind and the wavemaker, the great Singer whose persistent voice calls us on…. Will you join us?

Graduation Talk 2011

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
Congratulations! Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.
Unless … you believe what God says is true, that life truly lived, well, it’s not about you!
You’ll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet… you will still go down some not-so-good streets.
Cause you’re selfish and sinful, all the real humans are, yeah, we’re all in there with you, like clowns in a car. (sing)
You may not find any street to go down. In that case you may just head straight out of town. If you follow your wants and chase after your dreams, you surely will catch them…til one day it seems, you’ve gone the wrong way, the way of the crowd, your wants and your dreams, they were yelling too loud.
They drowned out the still small voice of the One, the One who made you, who loves you a ton. So listen, and listen, and listen some more, to the voice of the One, the only, the door.
Through that door, that door, that door alone, you will find truer truth and a homier home.
A home where you grow to be all you can be, because He’s in charge, and the charge to you’s… free!
Yes, it’s free! But it’ll cost you, cost you a lot. Come to think, it’ll cost everything that you’ve got!
But Oh! The Places You’ll Go! Hoo hoo!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Unlesst… you follow Him, and the hill he went up. Yeah, following Him has to mean that you’re drinking His cup…
If you'd really rather not, if that’s not your best plan, then join the crowd, believe me, we’d all understand!
Just... go move some mountains! Starting today, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Ok, I love Dr. Suess, don’t get me wrong. But I have to call him on some things..
On Leading, Moving mountains and Changing the world… I have a smaller goal for you with bigger implications: Follow Jesus up a lonely hill, and allow the events on that hill to change you as you learn to love the world with his love.
Here is some poetry from Romans 12 and Philippians 2- It’s just your standard graduation type talk, you know, an invitation to embrace suffering: 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought.
Phil 1:29 For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!
Paul tells Timothy- “do not be ashamed… join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. 9 He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus… That is why I am suffering as I am.”
When you are soaked in the grace of Christ, you can take disgrace from people, in fact, you can rejoice in it.
The only way to soak in grace, is to see your own weakness, to know that your dreams can be nightmares compared to what God has for you. God makes it clear that the glory of His grace is epitomized in the suffering of His son on the cross. The supremely satisfying life that we all chase is only found in joining Jesus in His suffering.
So, what to do, what to study, where to go? Maybe you have it all figured out. Just one little question from me: To whom have you listened? It’s a loud world, and it tends to clamor for individual achievement and success.
Here’s another idea- “Go and make disciples of all nations.” Jesus said that, to us. All nations means all corners of the globe, all cultures, all schools and homes, all disciplines and areas of study. Even Natomas, and Gardenland/Northgate, and…. But there is plenty of suffering available elsewhere too.
Of the 6.7 billion people on earth, 2.7 billion of them live in unreached people groups with little or no access to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Many of those are called unengaged unreached people groups. 300,000,000 people! Meaning nobody has gone there.. These are very dangerous areas. Who is going to go? If young people today hear this message- “Being a Christian means that Jesus will help you achieve your plans and your dreams, and so you will have a wonderful comfortable life,” then I know who’s not going there.. those young people!
So, if you want to make disciples of all nations, you have to connect people to the cross of Christ by suffering yourself, so they can see it. That’s how the gospel is spread. Through the sufferings of His body! That’s his physical body on the cross, and then by the suffering of his body, the church, you and me. So wherever you go, near or far, bring with you the thought that you can demonstrate Christ’s sufferings here on this campus, here in this family, here in this relationship, here in this far flung corner of the world. But please don’t go and say, “Jesus can help you with your plan to succeed! 98 and three-quarter percent guaranteed!” That’s not the gospel.
That’s Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth, the American Dream, but it’s not the gospel of Jesus Christ- the normal life of a Jesus-follower is pain- where you are sorrowful but always rejoicing and hopeful. Why? Because we are allowed to share in the suffering of Jesus, to demonstrate it to the world, and it only lasts a minute! 80 or 90 years! It’s nothing, nothing in comparison to what God has in store for us!
If we can feel the way the Gospel is at work in us- helping us see the truth about ourselves- we are more sinful than we care to admit (clowns in a car), but more loved than we could possibly imagine, then we can let go of our need to control our destiny, let go of our tightly held stuff and tightly held dreams of being the best of the best, and open ourselves to the far greater dreams that God has for us, to be a part of his restoration of all creation!
Oh, the Places He’ll go! Dare we follow?

Calling all Sheep

The first line of Psalm 23- “The LORD is my shepherd” hints at this ancient truth for all Jesus-followers: “We are not our own, but belong body and soul to our Lord and savior Jesus Christ…”
We tend to approach life, and the question of God’s call, with another pre-supposition: “I am my own, and I will voluntarily give a part of my life to serving God….isn’t that good of me?”
“So, God, I am all yours: Mondays and/or Wednesdays, (after soccer season), (most) Sunday mornings until 12, three hours of prayer and Bible reading a week, (give or take three hours) and three light relationships of your choice (pending my final approval) with a combination of: tiresome family members and/or needy people who don’t have my cell number.”
I think we make many decisions weighed down by prerequisites we don’t know we have. God calls us on a radical journey of self-emptying, and I see us tentatively starting out on it, but dragging with us a large duffel bag full of these good things which our desire turns into heavy idols:
* Others' expectations, affirmation, recognition. (Do what I “should do”, attain a certain level of career advancement and success)
* “Common” sense- go for recognized results, have “balance” for myself (Don’t be too radical, serve on my own terms, out of my excess time, energy, and resources)
* Need for concrete details (Just how are you going to care for me, God? Show me the money!)
* A home with good resale value in a "safe" neighborhood (Good stewardship, right?)
* An income level that I deserve, have worked hard for, need for my mortgage, or that I am used to, with enough diversion (toys, vacations, entertainment)
* Solid future assured (401, property value, kids' college and inheritance, my legacy and reputation) Obsession with these good gifts can become the idols of fear and lack of trust.
* Comfort. (My best life, now!) Control. (Help me with my life, God)
These can all be good gifts from God, but only if we “seek first God’s kingdom and His righteousness! THEN all these other things will be given to us as well.” Mt. 6:33
Bridge of Life is a uniquely diverse ministry where nothing less than community transformation is God’s mission and our calling. It’s big. How to start? John Perkins says that we must respond to the brokenness around us with compassionate action, the way Jesus did, and we can best do that with our neighbors. Just being in the neighborhood or doing it “for them” will never cut it. He notes in Beyond Charity, “… it is only when we really come shoulder to shoulder with the people at a specific spot … that we can begin to discern ways that the gospel will become meaningful in that context”
At Bridge of Life, we are learning more and more to live the gospel with each other on a daily basis. We are asking questions and praying, sharing lives and drawing closer to God and each other in some amazing ways. Some questions we are exploring together, with brief answers: Who are you? Broken, needing a savior; forgiven and Loved Child of God. Whose are you? All His. Then what is He calling you to be and do?
We have followed God’s call in fits and starts, dragging our bag of idols with us, leaving it at times and running headlong after Jesus, our Shepherd, who provides for us so well….then we fearfully run back to our bag of idols, gaze at them and often set up camp there among them. Will you pray for us in this struggle and continue with us on the journey? Then we can recognize the voice of our graceful Shepherd, and say together, “Surely goodness and mercy will follow us all the days of our lives, and we will dwell in the house of the LORD forever!”

c…a…t…

d…o…g…

m…o…m…

d…a…d…

These are some of the first words I read. My mom wrote them down for me. Sometimes there was a long pause between letters because there was a green light. c…a……greenlight……………………….

Red light. Time to learn. t. “Cat!”. “Good, David.” d….o….. green light……. “g? dog?” “Yes, David, very good…you did it yourself! Now I have to merge….go back to your seat” “Mom? Is that a d or a b? It’s melting…” “Yes, that’s condensation on the windshield…”

My mom, the preschool teacher and bus driver, multi-tasking on the way to Vernon Oaks Country Day Care- writing letters on the windshield. I went there for three years, learning phonics (“AE, I O U a kiss”) and to introduce myself to bigger kids with a punch.

I unlearned the punching at some point; perhaps prayer and new cowboy outfit incentives helped.

My earliest memory was when I was three, in the kitchen on Tamarind Drive, staring at a light switch and saying to myself, “I’m three.” I was three when I rode the bus with my mom to preschool, reading my first words in the condensation on the windshield.

So I guess I cannot remember a time when my mom wasn’t teaching kids to read.

I have always loved words.

For a while, the lure of outdoor ball games trumped reading for me, but I came back to it, and I remain entranced by words. Some of the letters in my mind may still have ghostly memories of condensation trails chasing each other down the windshield.

I learned a lot about life in preschool.

Letters, words, punching, obeying, and not. ..spanking. I remember sitting in my cubby and thinking, I’m the only one around here getting spanked…. Nobody else’s mom was the teacher…

Maybe I caught the acting bug there. Did we do “The Three Little Pigs”, mom?

I don’t remember that, but I remember being inventive when trying to get out of painting during “easel time”. “What’s that, David?” An aide would ask of my mishmash of hastily brushed colors. “Um, a tornado?” I would offer. “You did a tornado yesterday.” “Um, a hurricane. Can I go play ball now?”

When I was 5, I set off for Kindergarten, and I rode the bus with my neighbor and true love, Julie Ransom.

Ask me one day about the tadpoles…but that’s another story…

In second grade, art bit me again when the 1970’s psychobabble reached into my classroom to wonder at my psyche when I hastily drew a “person”- a blob with two sticks, so I could go out and play ball now. The concerned teachers called my mom to ask about a possible lack of love in our home, whereupon my mom laughed and pulled out her “breast-feeder forever” membership card and explained my disinterest in drawing….

For much of my mom’s career, I lived far away, only visiting now and again to demonstrate soccer skills or read a story to the kids. But I heard the stories. Stories about gardening, cooking soup, making peanut butter, doing silhouettes and hand prints (still?), putting on The Play, and singing, always singing….

“You’re still doing all of that, mom, with the larger classes, fewer aides, over the top reading requirements and the onerous testing, testing, and more testing?”

Here’s a word for you: s…t…u….b…b….o….r….n…..

And another: c….a….r….i….n….g….

And: l….o….v….i….n….g….

and o yeah: w…o….r….k….a….h….o….l….i….c….

So mom what will you do now without your fix? What will you do daily from six to six?

What will all those kids do? Will the right half of their brains shrink or fail to connect the synapses we all need them to have in a left-brain culture?

Oh, sure, I hope the powers that be clean up your room and move forward- a few of your projects may be better left undone… or uncooked (meatsa pizza). But please, please, save her spirit of invention and discovery, of engaging every part of a child, enlivening every sense, coaxing every note.

Read, yes, but paint too, and play ball.

Test, yes, but get dirt under your nails, and huff and puff and blow the house down.

Meet goals, yes, but don’t forget to SING!

Sing while you cook, and while you read, and while you play;

Sing while you learn- greet each part of every day

With a song and a guitar.

Today is Monday, today is Monday, Monday school, Monday school, all you happy children, today is Monday….

I love you, Mom, and I am so proud of you. If they ever make a statue of you, you will be sitting with your guitar in a semi-circle of rapt children. What did they see in you? What word were you teaching them?

Some of us know. Some of us know the Word that starts all words. I think you help kids know who they are because you know who you are and to whom you belong.

G….o…..d.

Imagine

Imagine a single mom trying to get by in this economy, caring for her kids, putting food on the table, and becoming all that God has made her to to be, using the best of herself to serve others.

Imagine a family juggling education, kids’ activities and odd jobs, battling depression and poverty, dealing with mental illness, yet leading others to experience freedom and joy in Christ’s love.

Imagine a lonely sick man, getting older, sicker, and lonelier each year, battling bitterness and the crushing weight of decades of legalism, yet clinging to God’s word and awakening to his grace.

Imagine a couple finding freedom from drug addiction and homelessness, beginning to grow in grace as the gospel penetrates their hearts and moves them to serve God and others radically out of their poverty.

Imagine a young couple, highly educated and skilled, starting a family, burning the candle at both ends to follow God’s call to serve in the kind of neighborhood they have been taught to avoid.

Imagine a lost soul, living in the woods, dulling the pain of lost family and lost hope with alcohol, but finally finding a place where a human touch helps him begin to feel God’s grace in his bones.

Now imagine each of these families multiplied by a couple dozen, and a few dozen more people of many other types, sharing life together, deeply, against all odds, across all barriers, so much so that each of them has family and friends that are taken aback by some of the people with whom they spend time.

Imagine a couple hundred of these interesting people getting together in small groups during the week to pray, study the Bible, share food and life, spend themselves in selfless service with others, working for justice in their neighborhood and the world.

Imagine them inviting their friends to a weekly celebration they call worship, where they cry out in praise to their King with reckless abandon, gather around God’s word to receive and spread His gospel of grace and share how it shapes their life stories, and the whole event is prayerfully designed to best meet the felt and the deeper needs of diverse visitors who ordinarily would not feel welcomed or comfortable in a church.

Yes, you are imagining church. Our church. Bridge of Life.

Can you see it?

It may be difficult to see it when we start in singing with 10 tired voices.

It may be difficult to see when we have a few young kids craving excitement trapped in a sad beige dungeon and told to “ssshhhh!”

It may be difficult to see past the smell. You know, the smell…

It may be difficult to see when some of our leaders have never learned to answer messages or prioritize well.

It may be difficult to see with an A.D.D. pastor who can’t remember things and has been known to have trouble leading his way out of a paper bag.

It may be difficult to see, and we may have a ways to go, but I can see it!

Can you? Describe it. What do you see in the years to come?